The email I just sent to my colleagues at the University of South Florida:
I wish to take the opportunity this afternoon to thank all of you for your collegiality and friendship over the years, which means a great deal as I transition to my new role at the Cushing College of Wilhuff Tarkin University in July.
I will be taking over as founding dean of their equivalent of an education/human development college. It will be a very new experience for me, but it is hard to turn down a job where you are the sole institution for 265,000 employees on essentially what is a traveling metropolis 100 miles across. I know that there are some risks where WTU and its traveling city go, but it is an entirely unique opportunity. I assure you I will apply in my new position everything that I have learned in my current role.
In the meantime, please accept my best wishes for the Department of Psychological and Social Foundations. You are a great group of faculty and staff, and you will go far.
Future Dean and Disciplinarian of Students (beginning 7/1/2013)
Cushing College of Training and Clone Development
Wilhuff Tarkin University
WTU: A Better-Trained Galaxy, One Planet at a Time
I have found out since the email that I was wrong about the title. My new title will be Dean and Executioner.