{"id":1192,"date":"2008-01-27T07:54:02","date_gmt":"2008-01-27T11:54:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/shermandorn.com\/wordpress\/?p=1192"},"modified":"2008-01-27T07:54:02","modified_gmt":"2008-01-27T11:54:02","slug":"active-listening-can-be-too-active","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/?p=1192","title":{"rendered":"Active listening can be too active"},"content":{"rendered":"

When reading Profgrrrrl<\/a>‘s account of two admiring students’ comments, which left her in very different places afterwards, I had the same reaction as she did. Very briefly, one student projected a whole bunch of assumptions onto Profgrrrrl’s life, while the other didn’t. <\/p>\n

Projections are dangerous, especially when you’re doing it because you’re trying to reach out to someone. I know that because of my own experiences having others project onto me when they’re trying to be nice or solicitous<\/em>. I try to keep my grumbles to myself. <\/p>\n

And if I ever forget, my daughter will remind me that “active listening” can be too<\/em> active. “You must be-” “No, you don’t know what I’m thinking.” And I don’t.<\/p>\n

So with all due respect for Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish<\/a> (whose books are otherwise wonderful for parents of young children), projecting psychological conclusions onto someone else’s words or actions is pretty foolish. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When reading Profgrrrrl‘s account of two admiring students’ comments, which left her in very different places afterwards, I had the same reaction as she did. Very briefly, one student projected a whole bunch of assumptions onto Profgrrrrl’s life, while the other didn’t. Projections are dangerous, especially when you’re doing it because you’re trying to reach […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random-comments"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pag0MB-je","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1192","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1192"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1192\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1192"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1192"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shermandorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1192"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}