Sharknado of the status quo

Warning: this is the last evening of a weeklong vacation. My sense of humor is thus a little warped.

Paul Bruno correctly observes this evening that bad sports metaphors are rife in education policy discussions, and he urges us to avoid them:

But what purpose do most of these analogies serve? Are education issues really so complicated that we can’t understand them except in metaphorical terms? It’s not advanced quantum mechanics, after all.

I agree. Sports metaphors are the EPO of education policy discussion, obscuring deeper problems. We need to strike out all such metaphors until we can be sure that the policy discussion is rational. What we need is a shut-out on … oh, heck. You get my meaning, I’m sure.

But to do so, we need to replace obviously cornball metaphors from sports with something equally inane. I think Star Wars cornered the market on the substitute-pants-for-noun meme. So to satisfy the conservation of inane trope law, and in honor of tomorrow night’s Syfy premier of Sharknado (see trailer here), I propose that we substitute the word “sharknado” in as many hackneyed education phrases as possible:

• No Sharknado Left Behind
• Race to the Sharknado
• The Sharknado Effect
• The sharknado normal
• Value-added sharknado
• Let’s do what’s best for sharknadoes
• 21st century sharknado
• Sharknado-based learning
• World-class sharknado
• College and sharknado ready
• Sharknado of the status quo

From readers:

• Sharknado-centered instruction (Paul Bruno)
• The flipped sharknado (Ed Webb)

Any others?